OOM - part one

[gods_that_haunt_me]

I think I am dead.

I am laid out on a boat. A boat I built myself.

But there are no flames; only endless waves that rock me, carry me away to I know not where.

Home, perhaps?

Valhalla?

Endless, endless waves.

People surround me. They come and they go, passing silently. Sadly.

I must be dead.

There is one man who does not come and go, but rather he stays. Solid and unmoving in his presence. Like the anchor on this boat, even as it rocks on these endless, endless waves.

There is no nighttime; there is no daytime.

Only hunger and thirst and pain.

I hope I am dead.

I want this journey to end and for the gods to take me.

Instead I am borne away by hands, a multitude of hands that lift me and carry me to I know not where.

Am I home?

Lips kiss me, her voice soothes my soul. Soft, warm, and gentle. Like sunshine. Endless sunshine.

But fever grips me and makes me pray for death, even as her kisses strive to keep me in this realm. The gods cannot make up their minds to take me or leave me.

I see ships.

A fleet of huge, magnificent ships. Bright sails unfurled in the wind, oars pulled by countless men. And there is one man, solid and unmoving like an anchor.

I must build those ships for him. And they will take us to rich, wonderful lands that lie far, far beyond the horizon.

I am not dead.


***

Helga presses a damp cloth to Floki's forehead. His fever has broken, and for the most part he is conscious again.

She would rather look after him in their own home, but he needed immediate care when the men returned from battle. So he was brought to the village infirmary instead. Since then he had been too ill and too injured to move him. But Helga never left his side, and she used every ounce of knowledge she possessed to help heal him.

Floki's face is bruised, one eye blackened without the help of ink, his jaw still a bit swollen and making it difficult to eat. His torso is bound with bandages. The bleeding from his axe wounds seems to have stopped, but his cracked ribs are still painful. His right arm is wrapped tightly in a sling, all the way up to his wrist.

That is the worst of his injuries. Because without his hand, his shipwright's hand -- he cannot work. None can tell yet if he will regain the use of it, so badly was his wrist broken. And if he survives, that would truly break him, more than any physical wound.

"Floki, try to drink this," Helga murmurs. She cradles the back of his head while holding a cup to his lips.

Without opening his eyes, he parts his lips, and she pours some of the liquid into his mouth. He coughs a little, painfully. It tastes bitter with herbs and roots, and the tang of his own blood is still on his tongue.

Helga kisses his brow to make up for it.

"Helga," he groans.

"Yes, my sweet?"

"Warn me the next time before you give me medicine. It tastes like reindeer piss."

Helga can't help but laugh. She hasn't laughed in what feels like a very long time. And Floki can't help but smile, even if it hurts to do so.

He is not dead yet, no matter what the gods say.

Comments

[gods_that_haunt_me]

"Just--"

Every gasp for breath stabs his lungs.

"--water--"

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan dashes for the jug and cup, pours some water and brings it, holding it to Floki's lips.

[gods_that_haunt_me]

Floki takes a few sloppy gulps, anything to soothe his throat. He then pushes the cup away and turns his head, still gasping raggedly. At least he's stopped coughing.

Eyes shut tight, he lies still and tries to even out his shallow breathing.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan hovers anxiously, not asking questions because that would be stupid and also because the last thing he's going to do is make Floki talk and set off more coughing.

He glances at the door, hoping he might see Helga coming back.

[gods_that_haunt_me]

Eventually Helga returns with a plate of bread and cheese. Upon entering the room, she smiles briefly at Athelstan, but rushes to the bedside when she sees Floki's pained expression.

She sets the plate down and sits beside him, laying her cool hand on his forehead.

"What happened?" she asks Athelstan.

[athelstanthescribe]

"He had a coughing fit", Athelstan tells her. "And I think it put strain on his wounds. Water stopped the coughing, but..."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

Helga sees how Floki's hand is still pressed to his side. So she lifts it while speaking gentle words to him, then pulls back the covers, minding his broken arm.

Fortunately there is no blood visible on the linen cloth bandage around his middle. Helga figures she can change it tomorrow with fresh healing paste. Relieved, she draws the covers back over him.

"I think he'll be all right for now," she says, anxiousness still in her voice and faltering smile. "Thank you for staying, Athelstan."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan puts a hand on her shoulder.

"You needed the break. I can stay a little longer while you eat, in case he needs anything."

He's worried about how tired she looks.

[gods_that_haunt_me]

Sometimes Helga thinks Floki is silly for not liking Athelstan. He's just too nice to not like.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Please, sit."

She gestures to a chair by the bed, and sets her plate in her lap. Floki has passed out again; his breathing is a little labored, but it's even.

"How have you been?" Helga asks Athelstan. A lot has been happening in town since Ragnar and the men returned.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan sits quietly.

"Well enough, considering everything. Glad that Earl Ragnar's back."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

She nods, with a somber smile.

"I think we all are glad."

Ragnar and his family have always been kind to her and Floki, even after his rise to Earl. Other people might have forgotten them.

"And how is Ragnar?"

And while he is an Earl, he is still like any other man with feelings.

[athelstanthescribe]

"I think he's struggling", Athelstan says, quiet but honest. "He hardly had time to grieve for Gyda before he had to go away again, and then Rollo..."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

She puts her hand to her heart and shakes her head.

"Poor little girl," she sighs. "She was so dear to him. And Floki was very fond of her."

At the mention of Rollo's name, though, she lowers her eyes and looks at Floki. Broken, clinging to life. It's against her nature to harbor any ill-will toward anyone, but Rollo... She hates what he's done to him. But hating him won't heal anything.

She purses her lips and lightly runs her fingertips through Floki's fluff of hair.

"The gods may have decided Rollo's fate, but I'm sure it's difficult for Ragnar to deal with. They are both good men."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan nods unhappily.

"And that makes it harder. Especially as he has to deal with Rollo himself."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

"Gods help them," is all she can say.

"This is why I was not made to be a shieldmaiden. War makes enemies out of kin, and I couldn't bear to handle that."

[athelstanthescribe]

"No", he says, offering a sympathetic smile. "You handle the aftermath, and heal the wounded. That takes its own strength."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

At that, Helga's shoulders relax and her face lights up with a warm smile.

"Oh, Athelstan. You always know what to say."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Not always", he protests. "But I try, and you're a good and strong person. You should know it."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

"Well, not always, but I try," she replies wryly. "Thank you."

She sets the empty plate on the bedside table.

"I think we should let Floki have some quiet now. Sometimes he talks in his sleep. I find it's best to answer him or else he wakes himself up."

[athelstanthescribe]

"As you say." Athelstan looks her over. "How have you been sleeping, by the way?"

[gods_that_haunt_me]

She shrugs a little.

"I've been taking naps, enough to get by on for when he needs me. But don't worry about me, Athelstan," she adds with a soft chuckle. "I'll be fine."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Hm. All right." He pats her shoulder. "Remember he needs you well."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

"I know," she says, touching his wrist.

"Come visit any time. It might annoy him to see you, but I'd be truly worried if it didn't."

She grins.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan grins back.

"Well, then, I'll make sure of it. Maybe it'll annoy him into healing so he can get out of bed."

[gods_that_haunt_me]

"That sounds like a plan."

Silly Floki.

"Say hello to Ragnar and Lagertha for me, won't you?"